(a.k.a the futility of compliance-for-the-sake-of-it programmes)
Imagine there was a law* that says “don’t be an arse to other people” which contains a list of 8 general requirements for avoiding arse-ness, including (among others) “be fair”, “be honest”, “don’t be reckless or negligent” and “don’t deny people their rights”.
Then hundreds of thousands of hours, billions of beer tokens and litres of sweat from the brows of assorted lawyers and auditors later; there were produced a number of standards and frameworks, guidance documents and checklists for helping everyone to ensure that whatever they’re doing, they’re avoiding being an arse.
At which point, everyone’s efforts get directed towards finding some technical way to acquire a clean, shiny glowing halo; ticking all of the boxes on the checklists, generating reams of ‘compliance’ paperwork, churning out Arse Avoidance Policies…….but actually ending up as almost *twice* as much of an arse because despite all of the shouting and scribbling and hymn-singing, what they are actually doing on a day to day basis looks remarkably arse-like (despite being called a “Posterior-Located Seating and Excretion Solution”; not the same thing at all) – since as it turns out, arsing around is lucrative and being well-behaved is not so much.
And then the questions is no longer “how do we avoid being arses” or even “what do we need to do to make sure we are not accidentally not arses?” but becomes “what is the bare** minimum we have to do in order not to appear to be arses?”
And that becomes the standard that (nearly) everyone decides to work to, writing long, jargon-filled statements explaining “why we are definitely not arses at all”, insisting that you must all complete a mandatory, dry-as-dust, uninformative half-hour “Anti Arse” e-learning module once a year (and calling it a “training programme” – hah!), hiring armies of lawyers to define the boundaries of “arse” and generally forgetting what it was that the law was trying to achieve in the first place. All of that costs quite a lot of money and – surprise surprise – doesn’t actually fulfill the intent of the law in the first place.
If you have to hide, obfuscate or misdirect from what you are really doing, then it’s quite likely that you are not achieving compliance with the law, no matter how much paperwork you generate or how shiny your halo looks.
It’s quite simple……just don’t be an arse.
(*in case you didn’t get it; that would be the Data Protection Act…..)
(**yes I had to get a ‘bare’ reference in there somewhere)
